For those of you who listen to the show on a regular basis, it’s not news that I am a huge proponent of perspective shifting. And of gear shifting. Of being adaptable and of having the ability to readjust as needed. As we were planning our recent trip to California, I had a couple leads with amazing LA-based Guest Titans, both of which didn’t end up panning out at the last minute. Because we couldn’t get schedules to align. At first I was a bit disappointed, but that feeling didn’t last long when I reminded myself that it meant I would, instead, get two full days, and not just one, at Disneyland with my 2-year-old and my 4-year-old daughters. Time that, one day, when they have left home to create their own adult lives, I will pine for. And, since this podcast started as a gift to them, so that they will have an inventory of conversations with paradigm-busting perspective-shifters to draw from at various times whenever they feel stuck, I want to tell you now, JouJou and Birdie, that while there is much to be said for achieving and pursuing your big beautiful goals, there is also much to be said for achieving and pursuing big beautiful memories. And our second day together, a day we wouldn’t have had if my two interviews had materialized, saw us instead having breakfast with none other than Princess Ariel, and we were able to squeeze in a live performance of Frozen – two events, two memories, that, seen through the eyes of two special little kids – that were well worth all the delayed goals in the world. I share that story today because I needed the reminder to get out of my own way – to take the headphones off, to back away from the mic, to throw caution to the wind. I needed to, as I heard Elsa belt out on stage… “Let it go!”
Perspective shifts happen when we twist the kaleidoscope on our traditional way of seeing things.
Nearly 20 years ago, when I was a mid-20-something-year-old junior copywriter in Toronto, I was in the throes of ending a 5-year relationship with a person I knew I shouldn’t be with. The relationship had long run its course, but it was familiar. It was what I knew. And leaving, despite the mundane rut and the repeat betrayals, wasn’t easy. I eventually took a job as a copywriter with the same ad agency but in its Vancouver office, figuring that if I couldn’t completely end the relationship, then at the very least, geography would give me a push, as he finished his post-graduate studies in Toronto. However, even in Vancouver, old habits died hard – there were still phone calls and emails and even short visits. I had 9 toes in Vancouver, but still had one toe in Toronto. In those early months, when I was getting my Vancouver bearings, meeting new friends and colleagues -- a client who would go on to become a dear friend and a bestselling author and even, in fact, a Guest Titan years later, recognized the self-sabotaging pattern I was creating and said something that changed it all for me. She gave me that kaleidoscope twist. She told me: “Mary-Jo... you have to lose sight of the shore, before you can discover new lands.”
I had to let go entirely. I had to let go of what I considered a life preserver, despite the fact the relationship was, in actuality, more of an anchor keeping me from the discovery of new lands. I had to sail into the great unknown. And that night, something shifted – my perspective. And I allowed myself, psychically and emotionally, to chart new waters. All I needed was to hear Gina Mollicone-Long (episode 19) remind me that it was time for me to lose sight of the shore. It was time for me to discover new lands.
Of course learning to let go certainly isn’t relegated to unhealthy relationships. It can be a negative relationship with food or addiction. It can be moving on from a stagnant career. It can be the desire to pursue a whole new field, a whole new passion, a whole new hobby. Regardless, we have to lose sight of the shore, before we can discover new land.
I mention this today for two reasons. One, to remind JouJou and Birdie of this, when they might be hanging on to something a little too long, despite wanting so desperately to seek out the freshness, the excitement of a new opportunity. And, secondly, I mention it because I find myself faced yet again with the decision to lose sight of an old shore – an old way of doing things -- in order to discover a new land.
Mark Twain said: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
MJDionne.com
Part One of our conversation delves into these years – the "before years" -- who she was and what was going on in her life. Part Two takes a look at the “after years” and how things began to shift for her from January 1, 2008 to today, -- ten years later. She admits freely that there was no trauma she was sedating herself from, there was no form of self-medicating, in those years when she chose to live her life on the couch – this is just who she was, this was the definition of herself she chose to believe. And similarly, she admits that there were no trumpets, no lightening bolts, no big ahas when she finally made the decision to strive for more. Today, 120-pounds lighter, she is a 3-time ironwoman, a soon-to-be 6-time marathoner, and is as vibrant and joyful and active a participant in life as they come.
With an estimated 1 in four North Americans living in and around the obesity mark, Karin’s story is certainly not unique. While the details may differ from person to person, the feelings are so often the same. She’s not special in that regard. As an obese woman, she juggled a career, two young children, and the demands of daily life – just like we all do. But eventually -- and this is why she is special -- she incorporated a slow commitment to gradual massive change, inch by inch, month by month, year by year. So if you think you don’t have the time, or if you’re waiting for your big a-ha – you just may be denying yourself your best chance to live a vibrant life. My friend and mentor Sharon Shales says: “If we wait until we are ready, we will be waiting for the rest of our lives.”
This is not a conversation about following a specific diet. I have no idea if Karin is vegan or paleo. That’s not what this is about. And the food plan that works best for you is of course entirely your business. This is an open conversation about the feelings and the events that come with living unconsciously, and the gradual transformation that occurs when you instead live with your eyes wide open. When you chose to love yourself more than you love – in Karin’s case and in Karin's words – the pizza and the chocolate and the wine.
The reason I started this series, is so that my two daughters, Majella (who we call JouJou) and Burgess (who we call Birdie) will have an inventory of inspiring conversations with paradigm-busters to draw upon for those times in their lives when they feel stuck. Each conversations give me the gift of at least one perspective shift – a new way of looking at the situation. And I want to thank Karin for reminding me that if we want temporary results in our lives – then commit to something temporarily. If we want permanent results, then we must stick to something permanently.
MJDionne.com
Part One of our conversation delves into these years – the "before years" -- who she was and what was going on in her life. Part Two takes a look at the “after years” and how things began to shift for her from January 1, 2008 to today, -- ten years later. She admits freely that there was no trauma she was sedating herself from, there was no form of self-medicating, in those years when she chose to live her life on the couch – this is just who she was, this was the definition of herself she chose to believe. And similarly, she admits that there were no trumpets, no lightening bolts, no big ahas when she finally made the decision to strive for more. Today, 120-pounds lighter, she is a 3-time ironwoman, a soon-to-be 6-time marathoner, and is as vibrant and joyful and active a participant in life as they come.
With an estimated 1 in four North Americans living in and around the obesity mark, Karin’s story is certainly not unique. While the details may differ from person to person, the feelings are so often the same. She’s not special in that regard. As an obese woman, she juggled a career, two young children, and the demands of daily life – just like we all do. But eventually -- and this is why she is special -- she incorporated a slow commitment to gradual massive change, inch by inch, month by month, year by year. So if you think you don’t have the time, or if you’re waiting for your big a-ha – you just may be denying yourself your best chance to live a vibrant life. My friend and mentor Sharon Shales says: “If we wait until we are ready, we will be waiting for the rest of our lives.”
This is not a conversation about following a specific diet. I have no idea if Karin is vegan or paleo. That’s not what this is about. And the food plan that works best for you is of course entirely your business. This is an open conversation about the feelings and the events that come with living unconsciously, and the gradual transformation that occurs when you instead live with your eyes wide open. When you chose to love yourself more than you love – in Karin’s case and in Karin's words – the pizza and the chocolate and the wine.
The reason I started this series, is so that my two daughters, Majella (who we call JouJou) and Burgess (who we call Birdie) will have an inventory of inspiring conversations with paradigm-busters to draw upon for those times in their lives when they feel stuck. Each conversations give me the gift of at least one perspective shift – a new way of looking at the situation. And I want to thank Karin for reminding me that if we want temporary results in our lives – then commit to something temporarily. If we want permanent results, then we must stick to something permanently.
MJDionne.com
Part One of our conversation delves into these years – the "before years" -- who she was and what was going on in her life. Part Two takes a look at the “after years” and how things began to shift for her from January 1, 2008 to today, -- ten years later. She admits freely that there was no trauma she was sedating herself from, there was no form of self-medicating, in those years when she chose to live her life on the couch – this is just who she was, this was the definition of herself she chose to believe. And similarly, she admits that there were no trumpets, no lightening bolts, no big ahas when she finally made the decision to strive for more. Today, 120-pounds lighter, she is a 3-time ironwoman, a soon-to-be 6-time marathoner, and is as vibrant and joyful and active a participant in life as they come.
With an estimated 1 in four North Americans living in and around the obesity mark, Karin’s story is certainly not unique. While the details may differ from person to person, the feelings are so often the same. She’s not special in that regard. As an obese woman, she juggled a career, two young children, and the demands of daily life – just like we all do. But eventually -- and this is why she is special -- she incorporated a slow commitment to gradual massive change, inch by inch, month by month, year by year. So if you think you don’t have the time, or if you’re waiting for your big a-ha – you just may be denying yourself your best chance to live a vibrant life. My friend and mentor Sharon Shales says: “If we wait until we are ready, we will be waiting for the rest of our lives.”
This is not a conversation about following a specific diet. I have no idea if Karin is vegan or paleo. That’s not what this is about. And the food plan that works best for you is of course entirely your business. This is an open conversation about the feelings and the events that come with living unconsciously, and the gradual transformation that occurs when you instead live with your eyes wide open. When you chose to love yourself more than you love – in Karin’s case and in Karin's words – the pizza and the chocolate and the wine.
The reason I started this series, is so that my two daughters, Majella (who we call JouJou) and Burgess (who we call Birdie) will have an inventory of inspiring conversations with paradigm-busters to draw upon for those times in their lives when they feel stuck. Each conversations give me the gift of at least one perspective shift – a new way of looking at the situation. And I want to thank Karin for reminding me that if we want temporary results in our lives – then commit to something temporarily. If we want permanent results, then we must stick to something permanently.
MJDionne.com
What we cover: “If you want something badly enough, you don’t make sacrifices. You make choices.” – Rhian Wilkinson
Today’s Guest Titan chat is a wee bit of a deviation from the norm – and I am so glad about it. Today, I have a guest co-host in the form of 12-year-old Alex Vietch, herself a serious athlete – she’s a track star and a soccer freak, in a good way. She asked me once if I ever were to interview one of the women from Team Canada, if she could maybe come and say hi, but we did one better. When I found out that Rhian Wilkinson, 3-time Olympian and today’s Guest Titan was up for it, I asked Alex if she wouldn’t mind being my co-host. And, because Alex is one of those kids who personifies carpe diem, of course she was in!
The impact of women athletes on the positive self-image of young girls and boys – because they too get to see another definition of what it means to be a powerful, strong woman – cannot be understated. To that end, I want to give a shout-out to two of my young friends on the east coast of Canada as well – a big hello to Elle and Lauren Davidson, sisters who themselves are so into the game of soccer in the province of New Brunswick. It was a bit of a coincidence really, on the day I interviewed Rhian – who is the aunt of one of my daughter’s friends – she was on her way back east to run a camp with teammates and today business colleagues within the scope of their incredible enterprise called iS4 -- Christine Sinclair, Karina LeBlanc, Diana Matheson. Well, turns out, one of my oldest and best friends, Alison, had put her two rock star daughters in the camp – and Alison told me that as a mother, she was moved to tears. That our girls are so privileged to have exposure to these resilient, accomplished women – women who teach girls that they are not to be relegated to the sidelines, that to be strong and powerful is the only option, that to work one another – our sisters on the field and off – is a surefire way to build a network and a life of support and love and memories and empowerment. I was so thrilled to have Alex join us for this important conversation. If you are a parent, this is one for the kids too. If you’re going on a road trip, or running errands, have this one on in the car.
MJDionne.com